The past several weeks seem like a blur, as I've been attempting to catch up on about every project that got left behind in the swarm of new baby-land. I'm the kind of person that expects a lot of myself (this has it's pro's and con's) and I tend to live in a constant state of possibility. Like, "Oh sure! I can totally whip out that book cover in a week!" Haha. Maybe when I was 25 and childless. I still think I can just create on demand, and I forget that a tired body (this baby still thinks 5:30 am is a great time to start the day!) really limits my creative "on" buttons. I have to laugh at it, really.
Couple that with a body that's still trying to figure out how to heal from a challenging 16 months of baby making and keeping up with 4 soul-filled children, and I am playing catch-up big time.
I'm learning how to balance my own whimsy and the reality of mothering and I always veer to the side of mothering. Which makes me happy and content. But then there is the work that piles up, and sometimes I think I must look like a really bad circus juggler. It's all good things....art making, home making, peace making. But it's knowing for myself when to turn out the lights and just go to SLEEP when I really should be doing this and that and this, that's hard for me.
Here's a few clips from Instagram lately. I'm working on some really fun projects that I can't wait to share (books, new fabric, new products....)
Life is good, oh so sweet, and full to the brim! I long to find that place where I can slow down and still find myself being productive in all the right ways. I've been practicing mental gratitude and mental meditation which has been incredibly healing to an overworked mind. Because my passion is my work, and my work is my passion, I'm learning to be more kind to myself, filled with more forgiveness as I strive to be the best mother and still share my creative gifts with others. I've always known that God's gifts to me are for me to share, and that has been so beautiful as I have always strived to put myself in a place of giving. But we all know that the bucket can get empty without constantly filling it. Mothering alone can do that. I've been on a journey of learning how to be in a constant place of being filled. It's a beautiful place to be in, but requires such openness, and rawness which makes it hard to articulate sometimes.
But as I've expressed these thoughts in one form or another, I realized that there are many of of creative mothers that just KEEP GOING and feel a relentless need to DO MORE. And to you, I say, "Stop, breathe, follow your bliss and slow down without guilt." This world is getting more demanding, faster and harder to keep up by the minute. And it's very easy to fall into that rat race. Simplifying life down to it's core needs and letting the other pressures go will only make for better joy.
I'm just honestly so grateful that my work, when approached from a place of joy, can be so fulfilling to me. I'm constantly grateful that I have a place to go to that fills my soul.
It's just so ironic, that when I'm overworked, that very same place can drain me.
Maybe you can relate!
I'm in a place of internal change, as an artist and a creator, and I really look forward to seeing where that change takes me. I know that as we are true to ourselves, and no one else, that we will truly do our life's best work.
Thanks for listening, and hope someone out there benefits from these possibly random Monday thoughts.
Love to you all, and have a lovely week!